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While there are instances when it’s quite obvious that you’re being used, like when somebody suddenly starts spending a lot of time around you and then asks you for something and then once they’ve got it, they either ask for something else or move onto someone else, being used is something, that like abuse, can creep up on you and catch you unawares.

When you recognise it, you may doubt yourself, especially if you tend to like to ‘see the best in people’ or you’re inclined to be a blame absorber.

You tell him/her that your feelings have changed and they say…

“I really like you but I just don’t think a relationship with our age gap would work” and it becomes clear that this is actually a strong value that they’ve always possessed, not something ‘inspired’ by you.

She was becoming hot and after much whining she also carried of her swimsuit and went for a dip at the lake.

I really don’t understand why being naked is a crime if you’ve a designated location where it could be legal to be without your clothes.

Readers regularly share stories with me about people who came back into their lives after a long time (Returning Childhood ‘Sweetheart’ and boomeranging exes) as well as tales of casual relationships that started out oh-so-fun but resulted in plenty of pain.

I’m a better person for it — happier, more understanding, more accepting.

Using is likely to have an element of ‘targeting’ – recognising that a person can be of use, with it sometimes coming down to exploiting what they perceive as ‘vulnerabilities’, which may just be good traits, such as being giving or trusting.

Or, having the perfect ‘flaw’ that’s not a flaw like a ‘suddenly’ unpalatable age gap, race, religion, child etc.

I recall thinking to myself that I’m a “nudist.” Being at a club, it doesn’t matter if someone is naked or not. They needed to show us round the resort but astonishingly my wife would not have anything to do with such a tour. We talked to a number of the other guests and we loved our time there so much we really hated to leave. -John YHOOPESTON, Illinois My lovely wife and I frequently vacation in Michigan. By this I mean that we were staying nude sometimes after a shower and then we began being naked before bedtime. My wife was unwilling but she agreed that there was no damage since we have been married more than 35 years.

This summer we went north and found a isolated alone shore in northern Michigan.

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